I’ve always been one of those guys that really underestimate the effect of future results. With just the right amount of stupidity, confidence, and competiveness, I constantly find myself in cause-and-effect situations where “I don’t give a F*CK!” results in a “Why the F*CK did I do that?”
There’s that time in preschool where I thought I didn’t like cheese, so on a day where we made mini-pizzas in class, I didn’t put cheese on mine. It tasted like pizza dough and tomato sauce, or in other words, it tasted like pizza without the good parts of the pizza. Or that one time in high school where I went to the “Fatburger” on Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood and finished the “XXXL Challenge” in five minutes. As I sat on the toilet the next morning, the only thing going through my head was “Why the F*CK did I do that?” (I won’t lie though, a part of me is extremely proud of what I did).
This leads to my lifelong view of the common cold. It’s crazy to think that back in the days when “kings” and “nobles” had actual power, and when people thought covering your entire body in metal plates was cool, the common cold was actually a deadly illness. Thank God I was born in 1994 because I treat the common cold as seriously as the Lakers treat the Charlotte Bobcats. And just like the Lakers overlook the Bobcats and pay the price for it (8-8 all-time against Charlotte), I overlook the common cold. I started getting the same ol’ symptoms for a cold: a stuffy nose and a sore throat. Still, I overlooked the symptoms and decided to play in an outdoor, alumni game for my high school water polo team in around 60-degree weather.
Now I can’t smell or taste my food, feel pain whenever I try to drink water, and cough every ten seconds. I tried making a podcast for the Lakers 104-87 win over the Trail Blazers last night, but half of the podcast ended up being me coughing up my lungs, while the other half consisted of this face:
Kevin Ko/The Sideline Bleachers
I wish I was kidding.
Anyways, here’s a rare written edition of Five Formidable Facts for you guys. So if you’re at home with nothing to do, eating out by yourself, eating out with people you don’t really like, waiting for something, or just straight-up bored in any situation… break out your smart-phones and get ready to read.
And if you’re just reading this for the genuine fact that you just feel like reading about the Lakers, I just have one thing to say to you:
Marry me.
Let’s get started with these facts:
1. Can I really rip on Mike D’Antoni after the Lakers won by 17 points? My God, I really want to do so…
Fact is, I want to rip this guy, like I do so often. But the fact of the matter is, the Lakers won… How can I rip a guy for the Lakers winning by 17? The Lakers are finally .500 (15-15), which statistically puts them on the same level as the Trailblazers and Minnesota, who are all tied up for the 8th, and last, seed in the Western Conference. With 52 games left in the regular season, I’m going to take any win I can get and cherish the living hell out of it.
Still, I’ll point to the fact that D’Antoni continues to insist on starting Darius Morris over Metta World Peace. D’Antoni’s explanations for starting Morris over MWP has been his preference of liking the defensive energy Morris brings, while also liking the energy that World Peace brings off the bench.
Even though Metta World Peace has been arguably the most energetic player on the Lakers team and is arguably the best wing-defender the Lakers have, D’Antoni prefers starting Morris at SG, which moves Kobe Bryant over to SF. This left a 6’4 Darius Morris (who’s more around 6’3) guarding a 6’8 Carmelo Anthony on Christmas (D’Antoni tried his plan for a couple of minutes before subbing in Metta to guard Anthony). Yesterday’s idea to start Morris made more sense because of the threat of Portland PG Damian Lillard, but why mess with the Nash-Kobe-MWP-Gasol-Howard starting-lineup that hasn’t even had a chance to really gel together as a starting unit? I could go into this a lot more, and probably will in the future, but I have four more facts to get into. I’ll come back to this in the future.
2. We saw many faces of the Lakers offense.
Early in the Lakers game against Portland, we saw Nash dominating the ball resulting in a various amount of pick-and-rolls for Dwight and Gasol and Kobe being more of a spot-up shooter. Once Nash was out of the game in the 2nd quarter, we saw the Lakers really lack a PG to run the offense, resulting in Kobe dominating the ball, like we saw pre-Nash returning from his injury. Later in the 3rd, we saw a good mixture of both, and by the 4th, the Lakers already had a good grasp over the game. Before the season, people were wondering how the Lakers offense would truly work: last night, we saw the variety of ways it could be run. We saw Nash calling the shots on offense, Dwight Howard posting up, Gasol on the high and low block, Kobe being Kobe, and MWP’s mixture of drives and post-ups. There are so many weapons on this Lakers team so it’s going to be interesting to see how the Lakers offense forms as the season goes on (now that everyone’s healthy). I have seen a lot less pick-and-roll action than I expected, but we’ll wait and see as this behemoth known as the “Lakers offense” unfolds before our very eyes.
3. Dwight Howard still doesn’t look healthy, but he’s getting there
I mean, I guess that’s what I have to assume, right? As time goes on, he HAS to be getting better… right? I’m anxiously waiting for a ball to drop at any minute, telling me that Howard playing throughout the season actually derailed the health of his back, but I pray to God that isn’t true. Still, there were two things I noticed that I really took into account last night: Dwight was really trying to block a lot of shots (fell short on a lot of them, but I’m assuming those will come as his athleticism comes back) and Dwight was really implementing himself in the offense more. The latter may have more to do with a change in the strategy of the team, to perhaps get Dwight more involved in the offense after his ejection in Denver. But still, we’re seeing Dwight’s athleticism get better and better every game. I’m just wondering if it’s going to keep improving, or if he’s going to hit the ceiling soon and this back-surgery just took his athleticism away from his FOREVER… Cross your fingers.
4. I love watching the Lakers bench play.
I’ve always been a guy who loved definite answers: don’t beat around the bush (that’s what she said) and just give me a straight up answer. I love “yes’s” and “no’s”, which might be a huge reason why I have problems with listening to the vocabulary of Mike D’Antoni, who uses “maybe”, “probably”, and “possibly” more than any Laker coach I’ve ever heard from (besides Phil Jackson, who would use them and smirk, just to be an asshole. Damn, I miss that guy). Here’s the fact: if Earl Clark and Robert Sacre are in the game at the same time, it means one of three things: the Lakers are getting blown out, the Lakers are blowing out their opponent, or Andrew Bynum got a sledge hammer and broke the knees of Dwight Howard, Pau Gasol, and Jordan Hill. And yes, Jamison would still be sitting on the bench.
5. Kobe Bryant gave up the ball to Darius Morris on a potential scoring opportunity.
I swear.
And I know it was the right play, but would any of you have been surprised if Kobe kept that ball for himself and either pulled up for a jump shot or drove it in himself?
Exactly.
As always, whoever, wherever, and whenever you are reading this: thank you.
The next Lakers game is at home against the Bynum-less Philadelphia 76ers.
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